The Arrogant Thoughts of Draco Malfoy
by ponster
Summary: During a sleepless night, Draco contemplates his perfection and hopes to defend himself from women whom he finds "unworthy" of his hand in future marriage. Draco/Draco. Definitely not as creepy as it sounds. Kind of funny.


Draco Malfoy lay awake in bed, the sound of the lake water thumping against the windows being the only thing that kept him company. He could hear Crabbe's faint snoring and Goyle's not-so-faint snoring as well, but he was so used to such sounds that his brain practically ignored them. The noise that he wasn't very accustomed to was what was keeping him awake. It was something he couldn't explain, but it was there. Not only did it bother his ears, but it bothered his entire being. It was hard to get away from, so he didn't fight it. He just let it fill him because that was all he knew how to do.

That noise was loneliness.

He took a deep breath as the sound continued to bug him, making him question his sanity. What boy in his 6th year at Hogwarts would lay awake in an ancient bed thinking about nothing but how lonely he was? The very thought was absurd, yet he couldn't stop pointing fingers at himself. Draco was that boy and there was no denying it.

When he shut his eyes, attempting to go to sleep, all he could picture was the happy couples that surrounded him. Had he not joined the Death Eaters, Draco probably would have had plenty of time to look for a girlfriend. Despite that distinct possibility, he had to either take the place of his incarcerated father or had to allow both the Death Eaters and the Dark Lord question the loyalty of the Malfoy family. He definitely didn't want that.

As these thoughts sunk in further, he realized that soon, he would be of age. He would have to find someone to marry him, and have a child with her. He felt life was coming at him too soon, expecting loyalty to the Death Eaters, high marks, good conduct, fulfillment of his prefect duties, and on top of that, a hot girlfriend who was both a pure-blood and a Slytherin. How would he ever find a girlfriend and wife worthy of him by the age of 21 with so many thing on his to-do list?

He imagine his future wife, if he ever managed to get one. She would hopefully be tall and slender with hair so blonde that it would look nearly white, pale skin, and grey eyes. She would have been a prefect in her Hogwarts years (hopefully she'd be younger than him, since he hadn't met a girl like that yet), and a great seeker as well. The more he continued to piece together this dream girl in his head, he realized that he had been describing a female version of himself. He laughed quietly in his bed. There would be no one who could ever please him more than he pleased himself.

His mind went back to his early Hogwarts years, when he verbally abused Potter and talked down on Granger. He thought of all the times that he had allowed himself to rule over some of his fellow Slytherins, along with those who snored while their names floated around in his head. He smirked as he remembered the time when he dueled Potter in front of all the other students, and how he had been brave enough to defy Lockhart's orders.

Even before his times at Hogwarts, he remembered running about his house and bumping into the children that attended his parents' parties. Not once did he feel the need to excuse himself. That had been the beauty of being a kid; he had felt more powerful then. He recalled brushing off his clothes and sneering at other children whom he didn't quite feel like associating himself with. He also could see himself ruling over the kids whom he found worthy of cleaning his shoes when he came inside from playing in the mud.

If those memories hadn't been enough, he saw himself as just a toddler, and thought himself to be the only teenage boy who could evoke such not-so-recent memories. He saw himself looking into the mirror of his new bedroom, which he was given when his parents finally felt he was old enough to sleep on his own.

The same blue-grey eyes that he sported that evening lay with him. The same mouth that smiled after seeing his own reflection for the first time lay with him. Even the same hair that stuck up because it was too soft to flatten lay with him that very night. He was so cute before and he couldn't stop thinking about it. He was just as cute as he had been before in his opinion.

He was way too good-looking to be given to just any girl. That girl had to be perfect, just like he was. If she wasn't, then he couldn't accept her ever. It was as simple as that. He began to feel jealous, having to share himself with another being simply for the need to reproduce. Why wasn't it possible to reproduce with himself?

The thought of a woman expecting him to love her enraged him. The thought of having to let her hold him and kiss him and feed him disgusted him. He could never allow that. There was no way he would ever love another person more than he loved himself. He made a face and turned in his bed, holding his pillow in place.

"Don't worry, Draco," Draco whispered to himself, "There's no way I'll ever let anyone touch you. You are much too precious to be shared and I'll treasure you as long as I live."

The sunlight began to lighten the color of the lake water, indicating both that it was morning and that Draco hadn't slept at all. He sat up and rubbed is eyes, pulling his comforter over his mattress and stood up to finish making the rest of the bed.

He stretched and pulled out a book from under his bed before he walked towards the Slytherin common room. He sat down on the couch and began reading before he was interrupted by a girl sitting next to him.

"Hello, Draco," Pansy Parkinson smiled at the boy, attempting to hug him, "How did you sleep?"

"NOT WORTHY!" Draco shrieked, throwing his book in the air, and running away.

He had forgotten that he already had a girlfriend.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Just like Draco, I lay awake at night. Not admiring myself as much as he was, but writing this up to entertain myself. Also, it's already morning, which is kind of how I came up with the ending. I hope you guys enjoy it and I hope to hear from you!


End file.
